Holiday Gift Guide 2009: action figures

You cannot have a holiday–any holiday–without action figures. I’ll never forget my Han Solo in Arbor Day Gear figure, for example.

G.I. Joe Ripcord from Hasbro

I’m no small fan of the latest G.I. Joe relaunch from Hasbro. The new Pit mobile headquarters set is amazing. Is it anything like the Pit of the old comics? Not in any sense, but I like the idea of Hawk spilling his coffee during mission briefings as the behemoth bounces over a pothole.

The new figures have great articulation including double-hinged knees. In addition to their normal firearms, they also come with an additional gigantic weapon that causes deafness to anyone within 300 meters. I’ve never liked big, cartoony oversized weapons myself, but that’s awfully choosy of me for a franchise that’s built around godlike ninjas and villains in blue uniforms.

Mattel‘s Batman: Brave and the Bold figures are big, chunky and also suffer from gigundous weaponry. I guess it’s okay because they’re for younger kids, but Jeebus H. Criminy, look at that sword. It’s almost as tall as Batman. Do you have any idea what would happen if Batman swung that sword? Yep, hernia city. And nobody will be buying Batman with Support Undergarment.

General Grievous (Star Wars Episode III) from Hasbro and Batman: Brave and the Bold from Mattel

Adrian Peterson from McFarlane Toys

I’ve never made any secret about my shameful mancrush on Todd McFarlane. The latest from McFarlane Toys is their NFL Football Series 22. My favorite is the Adrian Peterson figure in mid jump. It’s a dynamic, exciting pose for a running back, and I can almost hear Brett Favre in the background shouting at the sideline to call more passing plays. You know what this line needs? Redshirt tacklers to display next to the central figure. Put some anonymous, non-licensed, regular guys in McFarlane uniforms missing the tackle as Peterson leaps over them. Or, hell, I’ll use G.I. Joes.

Meanwhile, if you haven’t seen what Sideshow Collectibles and Hot Toys have been up to lately, you need to check ’em out pronto, especially if you’re into Star Wars.

Back to the gift guide.