I applied the same method of instigating internal revolt and waiting for the proper timing to my next war against the Mamluks. The proud history of the Mamluks is a long one–and proud, hence the adjective at the beginning of this sentence. They controlled Egypt and portions of the Middle East for almost three centuries. Their name echoes the sound one makes when accidentally swigging a gulp of sour milk, but don’t say that to them unless you’re prepared for war.
Detroit Lions campaign in Football Mogul, part 1
September 30, 2009 By
I’m taking control of a team that is arguably more pathetic than the New York Jets, who last won the Super Bowl in 1969 and have only 2 AFC title game losses since. Who could that be? The Cleveland Browns? No, there are teams with worse modern records than the Browns. The Arizona Cardinals? They were just in the Super Bowl. The New Orleans Saints? Let’s see what the Drew Brees era nets first.
Madden 2010 Campaign, Part 2
September 25, 2009 By
Degenerate gamblers, still smoldering from the week 1 dismantling of the heavily favored Patriots, conspire to make the Bills 8 point favorites against the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Tampa is visiting Ralph Wilson stadium for the first time in history, and are coming into Buffalo having been taken to the woodshed by Tony Romo and the Dallas Cowboys the previous week.
Unaccustomed to being expected to win, Dick Jauron was noticeably nervous.
Byzantine Empire in Europa Universalis, part 3
September 23, 2009 By
Fresh off a (lucky) stomping of the Ottoman Empire, “Just barely!” became our new battlecry. Once my new territories had stabilized, I considered the future. The Portuguese cowardice really spoke to me. I could fight a costly succession of wars against the Ottomans, or I could let others do it for me. Others. Definitely. Man, the proud Empire was beginning to look a lot like Portugal.
Madden 2010 Campaign, Part 1
September 19, 2009 By
The Buffalo Bills, missing their starting quarterback, backup quarterback and starting running back are just days away from taking on the Las Vegas odds-on favorite to win the Superbowl. Double digit underdogs even before losing Jeff Garcia, Buffalo fans brace for what looks to be a beating of biblical proportions. Looking to boost the fan base, the Buffalo News issues a rallying cry -“It’s always darkest before the dawn”.
Wonderful. Thanks for the pep talk, guys.
Madden 2010 Campaign, Part 0
September 17, 2009 By
The NFL preseason is a mixed blessing. Baseball is a dreadful sport. After 135 games and numerous Big Red Machine anecdotes by Joe Morgan, the summer begins to feel like a root canal. Preseason football helps ease the pain. That is, until the starters are pulled in the first quarter and you are left watching Jim Sorgi battle Charlie Batch in a gripping “AFC playoff preview”.
Madden preseason is no different.
Madden 2010: Ending the Culture of Losing
September 17, 2009 By
If losing consistently and painfully is a virtue, consider Buffalo the holy land. Buffalo has it all: crushed hopes and dreams, extended periods of consistent losing, chronic mismanagement and fat shirtless guys with bad facial hair. For those of you who may not be aware of the particulars, here is a quick rundown.
Byzantine Empire in Europa Universalis, part 2
September 17, 2009 By
I bribed a couple of Cardinals to take control of the Papacy. What can I say, I have a Pope fetish. First order of business was declare a Crusade against the Ottomans. I learned an important lesson while playing my dearly beloved (yet cowardly) Portuguese: don’t fight a war you can let others fight for you.
Byzantine Empire in Europa Universalis, part 1
September 14, 2009 By
Preamble: I enjoy grand strategy games, particularly historical ones, but I don’t pretend to be a great player of them (see my Portugal campaign). I have my inspired moments as well as my bad. I sometimes like to modify a game file or two to reflect a radically unhistorical circumstance. I dig history, but these write-ups are more on the fun side. So if you get offended by something or think I’m a doof for making light of a “serious” game, go play in traffic, okay? I assure you it isn’t worth your getting flustered.
Football Mogul 2010 kicks off the season
September 13, 2009 By
I’ve logged more hours in the Football Mogul franchise than in Madden.
Your #1 source for vomiting robot dinosaurs. Since 2005.
