Vomiting action figures, highly questionable relationship advice, and the ever feared Blog Thunderdome.
Once again, the always elusive Boo Berry cereal (Frankenberry and Count Chocula’s red-headed stepchild) is out now for the holiday season.
Don’t be stupid and miss out on Halloween’s latest tradition that isn’t at all a shallow marketing ploy designed to make you spend more money on stuff you don’t need.
There is a new entry in the Flinstones’ cereal world: Cupcake Pebbles.[Continue Reading…]
It’s that time again. April is Cereal Awareness Month. [Continue Reading…]
While I personally have always been festive about cereal, we officially started this holiday in 2006. That’s the kind of forward-thinking pioneers we are. You’re welcome. [Continue Reading…]
This is a public service announcement. Boo Berry cereal is now available by the truckload at Target.
Lucky gazes into the crystal ball and sees his future as a small man with rotten teeth.
Lucky has a lot of hobbies: running from kids, hiding bowls of cereal, traveling via rainbow, pulling purple horseshoes off My Little Pony and cramming them in cereal boxes, running from more kids, stamp collecting, and learning how to be a fortune teller.
Here’s how the scam goes. Lucky convinces some stupid kids to cough up a fiver apiece. They watch a lot of paranormal shows on cable, so they’re gullible as hell. Lucky moves his hands around a plastic crystal ball. He clicks a hidden button on the floor with his foot. Lights flicker. The globe clouds over. One of the girls in the group makes up her mind that she’s totally going to make out with Seth tonight, because he’s being so, so brave during the crystal ball phenomena.
Double Chocolate Cookie Crisp
I don’t know what it is about Cookie Crisp that makes people want to shove more chocolate in it. Every year General Mills trots out another 10 or 12 boxes of Double Chocolate Cookie Crisp. I can’t imagine they sell more than that. They must have changed the recipe a dozen times by now.
Cookie Crisp is great as just Cookie Crisp. It doesn’t need more of anything. When I saw the box of Double Chocolate Cookie Crisp in the store, I was ready to go on a fiery rant about how much it sucked. I was jotting down notes on the store receipt. Laughing to myself…alone…as I cracked a series of mean-spirited jokes at General Mills’ expense. Then I shoved my hand in the box and scarfed down a few.
Cocoa Krispies ChocoNilla. Heaven in a bowl.
If you take Heaven, put Xanadu on top of that, and then stack Hyperborea on top of that, you’d have ChocoNilla.
Cocoa Krispies ChocoNilla is the newest version of Rice Krispies. It debuted about two years ago and is inexplicably hard to find. This is odd because it is the single greatest addition to the cerealverse since milk.
Neither apple, nor jack.
Apple Jacks. They’re not apple. They’re not even jacked (distilled) apples. Applejack is a hard cider. I have no idea how the association with kids cereal was made. I mean, what if Frosted Flakes were instead named Frosted Lager. Or if Cheerios were Whiskey-Os. It. Makes. No. Sense.
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