Marlins Stadium Giveaway

by Dave McAwesome

Man, this is better than bat day. I remember going to Yankee Stadium in the early 80s for bat day, and, because I was young and stupid and unaccustomed to the cruel whim of Life, I thought I was gettin' me a big ol' standard size Louisville Slugger (even crossing my fingers for Dave Winfield's signature to be burnt into the head).

No such luck. Foul Life, you bested me again. Indeed, the bat was maybe a foot long--only slightly bigger than the Yankee Stadium hot dogs at the time (I don't know how long Yankee dogs are anymore; they better be 16 feet long considering how much they cost today). What in tarnation could I do with a foot-long bat? Exactly. Nothing.

Enter Todd McFarlane. On May 21st, 2005, the Florida Marlins are giving away a three-inch Dontrelle Willis and Paul Lo Duca to the first 12,500 fans through the gate. Now that's cool. The bitter taste of childhood would be far milder had I gotten, say, a 3-inch Ron Guidry and Rick Cerone instead of that damned bat.