Review: Gunther - Pleasureman
Adam uses speculation and uneducated guesses to review Pleasureman, the new cd from Swedish sex god Gunther.
by Adam Brown
Hailing from the Eurotrash stronghold of Sweden, Gunther is a one man sexual dynasty. Blessed with the good looks of a slightly gayer post-AIDS Freddie Mercury, he oozes charm like that creepy foreign guy at the bar that corners chicks and says “You find sexy? I kiss you!” Simply put, the man is stud.
As if his off the meter machismo isn’t enough, Gunther masters the art of Europop like no other (with the possible exception of Hasselhoff, of course). Throughout this 11 song masterpiece, Gunther touches on a myriad number of topics, including women, sex, sex, women, champagne, designer sunglasses, women and sex. Revolutionary, I know. The first song, "Gold Diggers", is an uptempo slice of Europop jet trash about women who latch onto men for less than honorable reasons. For most of us, a gold digger would be after our money. But in the fantastically capable hands of a wordsmith such as Gunther, "gold" becomes a metaphor for "my 22 inch love stick which I carry around in a plush chinchilla fur lined Fendi man purse". And seriously, who wouldn't want that? "Gold Diggers" also works as a perfect lead in to the mysteriously titled "Ding Dong Song". I had a hard time deciphering the lyrics after being whipped into an ecstacy fueled dance frenzy by the opening song, but if my ears aren't mistaken, I believe this song is about the notoriously delicious Hostess treats of the same name. Or maybe it's about his poon, I'm not sure.
In a stroke of musical genius on par with the Beatles "Abbey Road" medley, the next five songs play like a five chapter story about the immense pleasure to be found when you go down to Gunthertown. "Teeny Weeny String Bikini" details the sexy undergarments the ladies can expect to find him wearing should they be lucky enough to remove his skin tight red pleather pants. "Touch Me" is, of course, a song about said woman's expected reaction to sexiness of this magnitude (as well as a duet with Samantha Fox...bonus!!!). "Pleasureman" goes the Nostradamus route and predicts what that lucky lady will be calling the G-Man for years to come following their "Crazy and Wild" "One Night Stand".
All of this musical excellence comes to a head on the final song; the lustful, smoldering "Ding Dong Song (Soft Core)". On this reprise to the version found earlier on the album, Gunther manages to transform a pulsing, club friendly anthem about his package into a slow burning, tender love song about his package. What can I say? The man loves his junk. And after a few listens to this extraordinary album, you just might love his junk too.
Tracklist:
- Gold Diggers
- Ding Dong Song
- Teeny Weeny String Bikini
- Touch Me
- Pleasureman
- Crazy and Wild
- One Night Stand
- I Am Your Man
- Naughty Boy
- Enormous Emotion
- Ding Dong Song (Soft Core)
