Blue Fett.
“Who my father was matters less than my memory of him.” …like when I picked up his helmet and his severed head plopped out. That was a pretty vivid memory of him. [Continue Reading…]
Vomiting action figures, highly questionable relationship advice, and the ever feared Blog Thunderdome.
Blue Fett.
“Who my father was matters less than my memory of him.” …like when I picked up his helmet and his severed head plopped out. That was a pretty vivid memory of him. [Continue Reading…]
If you have a drug problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire…Dr. Drew’s Sober House. [Continue Reading…]
After a wonderful skip-year, “Idol Gives Back” is swooping down on us like a poor, disease-ridden, bird of prey. It wants our time. It wants our money. It absolutely wants our votes. And I think, maybe, it wants our souls. This is American Idol. “Greetings, Princess. It is I, Carlos the Dwarf. The dragon has been slain, and you’re free to rule your kingdom.”
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With “Idol Gives Back” looming over us like a starving, malaria-ridden guillotine, tonight’s musical theme is “inspirational songs,” which for the contestants, roughly translates as “something I heard on the radio at some point.” But there are only seven of them now, so the experience is…ah, who am I kidding? It’s agony. This is American Idol. “Vampirism is not a disease, Julia. Vampires are the living dead.”
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Blue imperative.
“The most dangerous beast is the beast within.” Guest starring Christian Bale? [Continue Reading…]
Haha, when I said I was dropping the show last week, did you believe me? No, I’m doing to the show what it does in treating addicts: pretend to be all serious but not follow through one iota. So…here I am watching another episode. Damn it. I just screwed myself. [Continue Reading…]
Last night, the contestants performed a series of Elvis classics because they wanted us to know, in case there was any doubt, that although they’re certainly more interesting than watching paint dry, they’re far less interesting than inhaling the fumes of said paint. Because at least, in that case, you might hallucinate a unicorn or a magical fairy. In reality, we just got Adam Lambert. Close enough? Maybe. This is American Idol. “Darling, I can tell you now…your father went through life with an open fly.”
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Elvis has been dead for 32 years, but tonight, with the help of Adam Lambert, Our Dear Show is going to dig up his grave and remind us that its not the songs that make the star, it’s the singer singing them. The perk: after this week’s performances, two contestants will be sent packing. I, for one, would like more perks of this nature. This is American Idol. “There’s four letters in my name, Rod. How can there be enough room on your joint for four letters?”
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Blue notes.
“Choose what is right, not what is easy.” Irony, thy name is George Lucas. [Continue Reading…]
Blue pride.
“The winding path to peace is always a worthy one, regardless of how many turns it takes.” But in the grim darkness of the far future there is only war. [Continue Reading…]
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