“They’ve dominated the small screen for the past six weeks,” says wee Ryan. Our boy needs to buy a new calendar, because this crap has been going on since January. “Tonight, our Top 7 takes on music from the movies.” To underscore this theme–and to make me lose my dinner all over the coffee table–Quentin Tarantino appears out of the darkness, looking like a clammy, bloated sweat gland. Oh Christ, he’s pointing at me. My eyes!! This is American Idol. I am gonna ask you questions. And every time you don’t give me answers, I’m gonna cut something off. And I promise you they will be things you will miss.
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