Consume!
Welcome to M.A.R.S., the Maximum Awesome Retail Syndicate serving all your shopping needs for Maximum Awesome, McAwesome University and Misfitopia.
T-shirts!
We're all very excited. Our T-shirts are in. Both t-shirt style and scoop neck (for women).On shelves now:
McAwesome University TuitionMy Mutilated Valentine
Valentine Deluxe
Research and Development Fund
McAwesome University Tuition
Before purchasing, see this site McAwesome University. By purchasing this item, you are buying the right to have your academic work judged by Dave McAwesome and/or the McU faculty. If Dave McAwesome and/or the McU faculty, at their sole discretion, finds your work to be acceptable, you will receive a diploma. Ships only to U.S. and Canada. No exceptions.
Cost: $50 (limited time introductory price, dude)
Wait! You're not done. You must email your 5-page paper or arrange to have your diorama viewed. This university ain't for slackers! Please use the following email. In order to thwart spam and maintain a high level of efficiency and service, please type the address into your email.
Include the name and address on your Paypal account AND the type of degree you are persuing. If you do not send this information within a week of payment, your course work is considered incomplete. THERE ARE NO REFUNDS. You have six months to submit your paper or diorama.
My Mutilated Valentine
Sappy cards? Bitter chocolates? Screw that. We don't celebrate Hallmark holidays. Valentine's Day can be any day with My Mutilated Valentine, a destroyed, mutilated, torn up (yet cherished) keepsake you can give as a laugh to someone you love--or as a not-so-subtle message to someone you hate. Scroll down the page if you want us to giftwrap it and mail it to someone other than yourself. Here's an example of something I did on the site. Ships only to U.S. and Canada. No exceptions.
Cost: $29.95
My Mutilated Valentine Deluxe Giftwrapped Package
Same as above except we giftwrap it, include your custom note and mail it to an address of your choosing. (We have to black out any obscenity in your note for legal reasons, so either keep it clean or send your own card separately.) Ships only to U.S. and Canada. No exceptions.
Cost: $50
Research and Development Fund
You're actually interested? Seriously? Okay, whatever. If you want to donate to a completely unworthy cause, click away. In truth, I'm trying to raise money for a huge modification to the forum software. Budget-wise, that project is around $3,000. (For all intents and purposes, this is a donation. You receive nothing but your own personal self-gratification of money well spent.)
Cost: whatever you want
Don't forget to snag some cool t-shirts.
