Toilet Tattoos

The toilet seat cover gets a makeover.

by Dave McAwesome

Finally! A way to hide the clean, sanitary, welcoming appearance of my toilet with grotesque art! There are a myriad really, really, really original floral prints to stick on your toilet seat cover. It makes the perfect holiday gift. "Honey, thanks for getting me a toilet tattoo instead of something that makes me feel cherished and loved."

For next year's product line, I hope they offer scratch 'n' sniff prints. That would totally beat down all those Glade Plug-ins. I'm serious, man. I wanna see some scratch 'n' sniff toilet seat covers.

Have a seat, pooper. (I was going to go with, "Your throne, Sir Poops-a-lot," because of that dumb toilet/throne association, but I wanted to call you 'pooper' instead.)