Tie of the Month Club

Club-Offers.com

by Adam Brown

Remember that look of soul crushing despair your dad used to get when, year after year, he would open that Father's Day gift to find another damn necktie? A stark reminder that, when it came time to find a gift that represents your appreciation for the hard work that went into making sure you had a roof over your head, the family collectively said "fuck him, buy a tie." Why not let the old man relive that magic not once but 12 times a year with a membership to the Tie of the Month Club? For just $263.40, pops can look forward to opening the mail box each month to find a reminder that, even though you're 27 years old, you still live in the basement and suck the life blood out of him. As a result, he gets to put on a goddamned tie five times a week and drag his 60 year old ass to a job he hates. At least until he finds a pipe in the basement sturdy enough to wrap one of those neckties around and support his body weight.

Have fun, office stooge.