Dr. Mindbender

Mind control expert and director of Cobra's gay outreach program

by Dave McAwesome

Well, if the G.I. Joe universe didn't mind the Zartan shape-shifting magic, they sure as hell weren't going to blink at Dr. Mindbender's mind control magic. His filecard? Says he's a former dentist who looked into brainwave patterns to manage pain. From pain receptors to full blown mind control, eh? That's how magic works.

While discussing Serpentor, I mentioned that in the comics Dr. Mindbender created Serpentor from genes gathered in the tombs of Alexander the Great, Genghis Kahn and others. Serpentor's filecard, on the other hand, says he is the product of a cabal of scientists under the direction of Destro and The Interrogator. This is notable because G.I. Joe comic writer Larry Hama also wrote the filecards. Since Dr. Mindbender and Serpentor were released the same year, I do wonder if The Interrogator was an early name for Mindbender. Was it changed later rendering the mention on Serpentor's filecard a typo? Some support for this theory may be found in the fact that Mindbender was referred to as Dr. Brainwave in an earlier comic and that a prototype of his character appeared very early in the G.I. Joe comics as Dr. Venom.

Dr. Mindbender is also credited with building B.A.T.s (battle android troopers), robot soldiers. I guess Destro was off that day. Oh, he built the Terror-Drome, too. So let's recap. Dr. Mindbender is a dentist. Mind control expert. Roboticist and engineer of unparalleled ability. And master geneticist. Why not call him Dr. Everythingguy? Dr. Mindbender also makes spectacular balloon animals and is available at parties under the stage name "Dr. Gigglesworth."

One of Mindbender's most important tasks at Cobra was heading up the organization's gay outreach program. It's not just straight boys who do all the terrorism, you know. Are you trying to insinuate that gays can't be terrorists? I'll not tolerate such a narrow-minded view. Gays are capable of blowing up anything us straights can.

Mindbender had tremendous success recruiting from the Bear population. In fact, his efforts to expand Cobra's nightlife earned them the best dressed private army and most tastefully decorated hidden fortress in the world.