Bacon Factory, part 2

It's the next great internet business

by Zach Whalen

Continued from part 1, Zach continues to push his life's work as bacon factory entrepreneur. The IM conversation has been cleaned up for readability. --Dave

spectre: um
spectre: people already have bacon
Zach: Yes, but do they have the finest cuts hand-cut by Frenchmen?
Zach: I DARESAY THEY DO NOT
Zach: I sell my bacon over the inter-net
Zach: It is quick and easy
spectre: i would not buy it
spectre: i'd rather run to the gas station or nearest grocery store
spectre: and have it in my mouth in 15 minutes
spectre: and no
spectre: not cut by frenchmen
spectre: but by canadiennes
Zach: DO YOU SAVOR INDUSTRIES OF HIGH COMPETIVENESS AS MUCH AS YOU SAVOR YOUR BACON BECAUSE IF YOU DO I HAVE A JOB WAITING FOR YOU AT MY E-BACON FACTORY
spectre: i don't savour high competetiveness
spectre: i'd rather have no competitors and have a monopoly
Zach: I HAVE A MONOPOLY ON HIGH COMPETITIVENESS, HIGH INTENSITY WORKPLACE OF BACON
spectre: do i receive shares at the end of each year
Zach: I SHARE WITH YOU MY LOVE OF THE FINEST CUTS OF BACON HANDCUT BY FRENCHMEN
spectre: no
spectre: i want 50 million shares of your company
Zach: My love of the finest cuts of bacon handcut by Frenchmen is qualitative not quantitative
spectre: i don't care for your bacon
Zach: HOW CAN YOU NOT CARE FOR BACON???????
Zach: BACON IS MY LIFE!!!????
spectre: because it's fucking nasty
spectre: it tastes like crap
spectre: unless its the crunchy ones that just crunch like crackers
Zach: I won't tolerate that language in my bacon factory! I also don't tolerate unions. I break them up with large krauts and truncheons.