The unexamined life is not worth living. Unless you're rich, in which case you're probably living pretty well.

• War on the Floor IV
  
  Skip Hoppington Strikes Back
• Happy Super Awesome Day 2008
  
  To celebrate this year's awesomest holiday, I wanted to get a gift for a very special someone. That journey took a lot longer than I thought and even involved Voltron. Gift guide for Toyville.
• McAwesome vs. The Bar
  
  Building my own bar means I will always get served first. Thrilling 5-part adventure with beer and power tools.
• Old-style arcade
  
  I *do* have plenty of better things to do with my time. Nevertheless, I made a paper arcade machine for the forum.
• Happy graduation
  
  Did Star Wars fanboys ruin your yearbook? It's been done before.
• My stupid design notes
  
  I changed the nameplate again.
• Cereal Awareness Month 2008
  
  You didn't think I forgot Cereal Awareness Month, did you? Well, okay, I almost forgot.
  • Berry Berry Kix
    
    ...is berry, berry bad.
  • Cap'n Crunch variant
    
    Choco Crunch has the Cap'n chasing a French pirate...in a circus? Okay.
• Valentine's Day Songs
  
  Based on the four most romantic songs, this must be the most romantic poem ever.
• 3rd anniversary
  
  Travel more than 100 stupid years for anniversary number three.
• War on the Floor III
  
  Attack on Peep Village
• McAwesome vs. The Lottery
  
  Is $12 million enough?
• Kidney conundrum
  
  If Bart Swillington needed a kidney, would I step up? Should I?
• Funeral for a friend
  
  A dear, dear friend passed away recently. Love lies bleeding on my glossy 8x10 Hammermill paper.
• Left for dead in Vegas
  
  Yes I was. Good times, good times.
• My Free iPhone
  
  Jealous much? It's only the greatest thing since last month's greatest thing.
• Cereal Awareness Month 2007
  
  Take a minute to stop and think...about cereal.
  • Fruit Loops
    
    Fruit Loops kicks off this year's Cereal Awareness Month. Loops? Yes. Fruit? No.
  • McAwesome Breakfast Cereal Guide
    
    The incalculably important and massively indexical cereal guide is launched. Huzzah!
  • Cap'n Crunch and Mario team up
    
    Mario and his Nintendo friends join Cap'n Crunch for board game boredom.
  • Cap'n Crunch
    
    A closer look at this hallowed cereal.
  • Bamm-Bamm Berry Pebbles
    
    What, like Fruity Pebbles isn't good enough that we need Berry Pebbles?
• My Mutilated Valentine
  
  Trixie the Pixie is having a bad Valentine's Day.
• Grammar Guide
  
  Duck, I'm trying to be helpful. Actually, no, I only did this for my personal reference. That shouldn't stop YOU from using it, however. It's a guide of common mistakes in English written in a way that's not completely boring.
• Two down, 98 to go
  
  Second anniversary of doom.
• Happy Super Awesome Day 2006
  
  The holiday celebration continues.
• Half-boy
  
  The bizarre and unnecessary introduction to Half-boy.
• McAwesome vs. Halloween
  
  Do razor blades and candy really mix? We did our best to find out.
• McDonald's Monopoly game made me its bitch
  
  ...and it's all my fault.
• McPlan for McCash
  
  McDonald's Monopoly game, I demand satisfaction.
• Dear Strawberry Shortcake
  
  She's turning 30 and I'm the only one who can talk her off the spinster ledge. Hopefully she can forgive past...indiscretions. My open letter to Strawberry Shortcake. (Includes a link to my, ahem, MySpace page.)
• McAwesome University
  
  I am thrilled to announce that McAwesome University has officially opened its doors to the public.
• Quest for the Stink Flower
  
  It's a field trip! Join me on an excursion through the Brooklyn Botanic Garden and see it like you've never seen it before.
• I have a stupid dream
  
  Mine is more realistic than Martin Luther King's. (Includes aircar reference.)
• The art of hate
  
  I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed eating it.
• Mother's Day Madness
  
  I am an imposter. I have a sad and terrible tale for you, dear reader.
• Cereal Awareness Month 2006
  
  We all need to take a moment...for cereal.
  • Berry Krispies
    
    Berry Krispies kicks off Cereal Awareness Month with a confusing melange of flavors and misleading cereal box activities.
  • Cocoa Pebbles: The Poisoning
    
    I can't lie. I always liked Fruity Pebbles better.
  • Lucky Charms: Decoded
    
    This time I take down Lucky himself (features telephone goodness).
  • Cookie Crisp
    
    Solution to the Cookie Crisp cereal box puzzle. Difficulty level: medium.
• Valentine's Day Still Sucks
  
  I hate this bogus Hallmark holiday, and today it's claimed a life.
• Countdown to Destiny
  
  Deb's hankerin to see her honey. Instead of helping, I build a timer.
• Happy Anniversary
  
  January 12th is the birthday of this site. Good heavens, we've accomplished so little. (A note on our first anniversary.)
• I ingested a known toxin
  
  My unfortunate encounter with olestra.
• Happy Beer-fueled Holidays - A tale of horror
  
  This is the opposite of what any rational being could desire on a holiday evening.
• Trying is the first step towards failure
  
  It is said failure makes the taste of success that much sweeter, but it doesn't change the fact that failure tastes like crap.
• Happy Super Awesome Day
  
  Why start a new holiday? This one's awesomer.
• Twelve hours of beer
  
  A binge of questionable importance. (Plus, bar-hopping with Lando.)
• Much Ado about 'To Do'
  
  Failure. Now available in convenient list form. (Plus a couple of famous 'to do' lists throughout history.)
• The Soul Harvester
  
  Since you're not using your soul anyway, you mindless drone you, why not give it to someone with a plan?
• War on the Floor II
  
  The rise and fall of Zombie Pope...in my living room...with action figures.
• Zombie Pope
  
  Epilogue to the Conclave '05 and prologue to War on the Floor II.
• I swallowed some nuts
  
  In which I am introduced to the culinary delight of office supplies. (Plus the debut of the Star Wars Goodness Chart.)
• Lance Armstrong is not my hero
  
  Those stupid yellow awareness bracelets must stop. Plus, the NASA space program runs into another snafu: no Tang.
• Openly Mocking My Childhood
  
  Savaging the embarrassing trinkets of childhood. Plus: why women, not men, should name children.
• Neighbors for a Day: E3 and Vegas
  
  Under the influence of beer.
• Star Wars: The Cereal
  
  Cereal is the central preoccupation of my life.
• The Eyeman Cometh
  
  What happened to Dave last fall when his cell phone bit it and he entrusted his eyesight to discount wholesale professionals? You're about to find out.
• I helped someone
  
  It was an accident. I swear. (Plus, the first appearance of the Spiff-o-meter.)
• Border States: the band
  
  In which I take music criticism to a new height.
• I ran for Pope
  
  I can't believe I didn't win.
• Blogging Tips
  
  Advice for the clueless.
• The War on the Floor Saga
  
  G.I.Joe vs. Transformers...to the death.
• G.I. Zoo
  
  So many animals...reload my rifle.
• X Stands for Stupid
  
  Comics and I were a dreadful combination.
• Yokorama
  
  How not to name your band.