eat your cake and have it too

This phrase drives me nuts. First of all, don't use it. It's become such a cliche. If you must, the correct way is:

You can't eat your cake and have it too.

People like to misspeak it as, "You can't have your cake and eat it too." No? Here's my cake. I have it. Now I'm eating it. Moron. You can't eat your cake and have it too, because once you eat it, you no longer have it. The expression is used as another way of saying, "You can't have it both ways." How ironic, then, that most people think they can word the expression either way without changing the meaning. Argh, they should be shot. Indeed, you might cleverly respond to such a dope, "Nay, my good man. You can't eat your cake and have it too." It'll drive them batty. Why does this bother me so much? It bothers Harlan Ellison a lot, and by jiminy, we all need to come together as a people and stop irritating that amazingly talented human.