Vomiting action figures, highly questionable relationship advice, and the ever feared Blog Thunderdome.
After 19 week, 40 episodes, and more hours than I can recall without weeping uncontrollably, we are about to reach maximum safe distance from this show. At long last, Finale Night is upon us. Who will win? Will it be the glamorous lady with the … [Continue reading]
Flashbacks remind us that once upon a time, Adam Lambert and Kris Allen were two people nobody gave a shit about. In Olde Audition Tymes, Adam didn't wear eyeliner, while Kris sported an ill-conceived cabbie hat. Then they got famous. Kris embraced … [Continue reading]
Why in the name of Victor Von Doom is Ben Stiller on my TV? Worse, why is he talking to me? I know I'm not on medication and I gave up crack after that unfortunate Disney World incident. (The Pirates of the Caribbean are robots. Don't try to have sex … [Continue reading]
"They have become heroes in their hometowns." Because next to war veterans, firefighters, and astronauts, amateur singers in a reality show competition are true, heroic pioneers. There's Danny Gokey, smiling like a cock until he realizes he's on … [Continue reading]
Last night, we were slapped in the face by Rock Night, and boxed in the ears by Gokey's attempt at a Steve Tyler howl. Allison decided that 17 weeks into the season was a fine time to throw attitude at Simon. But he loved it. The kids sang duets. … [Continue reading]
The herd of thirty-six has been thinned to four. Last week, someone poor sucker went home. Their sorry delusion of defeating Adam Lambert, shattered into bits. Was it Matt? I don't even remember. A year from now, I doubt I could tell you who was in … [Continue reading]
Lucky has a lot of hobbies: running from kids, hiding bowls of cereal, traveling via rainbow, pulling purple horseshoes off My Little Pony and cramming them in cereal boxes, running from more kids, stamp collecting, and learning how to be a fortune … [Continue reading]
I don't know what it is about Cookie Crisp that makes people want to shove more chocolate in it. Every year General Mills trots out another 10 or 12 boxes of Double Chocolate Cookie Crisp. I can't imagine they sell more than that. They must have … [Continue reading]
If you take Heaven, put Xanadu on top of that, and then stack Hyperborea on top of that, you’d have ChocoNilla. Cocoa Krispies ChocoNilla is the newest version of Rice Krispies. It debuted about two years ago and is inexplicably hard to find. This … [Continue reading]
Apple Jacks. They’re not apple. They’re not even jacked (distilled) apples. Applejack is a hard cider. I have no idea how the association with kids cereal was made. I mean, what if Frosted Flakes were instead named Frosted Lager. Or if Cheerios were … [Continue reading]
Your #1 source for vomiting robot dinosaurs. Since 2005.
