Fall TV Preview: 2007

Everything you need to know about the new season, but didn't bother to ask

by Frank Pittarese

Summer is finally over, and TV's fall season is upon us. I'm sure you're all climbing the walls, wondering what to watch and saying to yourself, "If only that guy who writes the American Idol recaps would tell me what to do." Rest easy, buckaroos. I'm here.

Last year, I covered the networks over the course of six daily columns. This year, I'm feeling lazy. Besides, Heroes is already back and there's no time for shenanigans. So I'm just gonna cover the shows that interest me--or severely disinterest me. With all the TV I watch, I can afford to be picky.

Sunday

Viva Laughlin (CBS, 8 pm), is the only Sunday newbie worth mentioning. The premise, as far as I can tell, involves a casino, a detective, and (occasionally) Hugh Jackman. Also, it's a musical--except it's not a musical, as the producers are determined to inform us. Instead of bursting into song, the characters will sing along with pre-existing tunes, like Blondie's One Way Or Another. This one looks like a hot mess, and while CBS is promoting Jackman as part of the show, it should be noted that Wolverine will only appear as his movie schedule permits. If karaoke drama is your thing, by all means, watch this show. But I'll pass.

Prediction: Gone in six weeks or less.

Recommendation: Watch Fox. Even a mediocre episode of The Simpsons (as if there's any other kind) will be better than Viva. And King of the Hill and Family Guy are still doing it right. For the masochists out there, ABC's Desperate Housewives is back with another season full of thoroughly unlikeable characters doing absolutely despicable things.

Monday

Chuck (NBC, 8 pm), an hour-long hybrid of The Office and Alias, has been getting some positive buzz. It's about a dorky (but cute) computer nerd who accidentally downloads all of America's top secret intelligence into his brain. As a result, he becomes a spy. Hijinks ensue. Chuck should appeal to sci-fi geeks, espionage fans, and guys who like hot chicks (because this show has 'em). NBC made the right decision to place this in the pre-Heroes spot. All us nerds will already be home.

The Big Bang Theory (CBS, 8:30 pm) tells the story of two super-geniuses who befriend their beautiful next-door neighbor. Expect plenty of "fish out of water" plots as the geeks try to be cool and the beauty tries to be smart. If it lasts a season, I suspect a love triangle will emerge. This is an interesting concept, but it probably works better as a reality show (see Beauty & the Geek, Tuesdays on the CW).

Journeyman (NBC, 10 pm) is about a guy who travels back and forth in time, striving to put right what once went wrong, and hoping each time that his next leap will be the leap home. Okay, maybe that's not quite what it's about, but this time-hopping adventure show sounds enough like Quantum Leap to give me pause. I'll check it out, but it won't last.

K-Ville (Fox, 9 pm) is about two cops who break all the rules. That sounds like every cop show ever, no? Well, they've spiced this one up by setting it in New Orleans. Timely! Relevant! Boring! Pass!

Predictions: Chuck will do well until NBC starts screwing around by changing its time slot. That's what they do. But if they leave it on Mondays long enough to gain a following, Chuck will be around for awhile. On the other hand, NBC's effort to turn Monday into sci-fi night is commendable, but it might also be overkill, with Journeyman suffering the pain of viewer exhaustion. While Journeyman is airing, everyone will be online, posting about Chuck and Heroes. The Big Bang Theory is safely tucked between the hits How I Met Your Mother and Two and a Half Men. It's going nowhere. As for K-Ville, which directly competes with Heroes, well...thanks for trying, generic-but-topical cop show!

Recommendations: Watch Chuck for its light-hearted adventure, DVR Prison Break for its over-the-top, balls-out awesomeness, and stick with Heroes for another season. Despite its sloppy continuity and inconsistent characterization, Heroes is a fun show. If it could stop taking itself so seriously (and hire a good story editor) it'd be even better.

Tuesday

Cavemen (ABC, 8 pm). You know those Geico adverts, the ones with the caveman? They made a show out of that. It's even less funny than you might imagine. It'll make Rubik, the Amazing Cube look like The Shield. Watch it only to give yourself the satisfaction of turning it off after five minutes.

Reaper (CW, 9pm). Bret Harrison, star of the severely underrated sitcom The Loop, stars as a guy forced by Satan to capture escaped souls and bring them back to hell. This hourlong horror/comedy looks like a monster mash buddy-movie-meets-Buffy the Vampire Slayer-meets-Ghostbusters. The buzz has been good, the cast (which includes Ray Wise as the Devil) is terrific, and if viewers aren't overloaded by this season's genre-heavy programming, it stands a chance.

Predictions: Cavemen will be extinct by November sweeps. Reaper should have enough network support to survive for awhile. It already has the marking of a cult favorite, but it'll get the axe if the ratings aren't there--and it'll have to do better numbers than the now-canceled Veronica Mars to stay alive.

Recommendations: Watch Beauty and the Geek (CW, 8 pm), already begun and in its third season, then stick around for Reaper. Feel free to ignore NCIS, The Unit, and Law & Order: SVUWXYZ. Aren't they all the same show, anyway? Also, Bones returns for a second or third season. Who the hell knows. I've yet to meet a single person who watches it.

Wednesday

Bionic Woman (NBC, 10 pm) claims to be a remake of the classic 70's show. Except it isn't. There's no Oscar Goldman, no Rudy Welles, and certainly no Steve Austin. This series is engineered by the same folks who remade Battlestar Galactica. There, they took a fun, campy, sci-fi show, full of action and aliens, and turned it into a dark, joyless exercise in pretentious television. I expect the same with Bionic Woman. I doubt I'll be able to sit through more than three episodes, so they'd better bring on the Fembots--fast!

Pushing Daisies (ABC, 8 pm) is about a guy who can bring the dead back to life with a single touch--and with a second touch, he kills them again. Things are further complicated by the fact that the dead-raising guy has brought his girlfriend back to life and now he can't touch her again. Meanwhile, he goes around solving crimes, because that's what you do when you're on TV. This looks like a quirky little show--but maybe too quirky for America. We'll see.

Back to You (Fox, 8 pm) stars Frasier and Everybody Loves Raymond's wife. I got bored halfway through that sentence. 'Nuff said.

Private Practice (ABC, 9 pm) is a doctor show spin-off of doctor show Grey's Anatomy. I used to watch Grey's till it started giving me a period. I'm staying well clear of Private Practice.

Gossip Girl (CW, 9 pm) is about a bunch of hateful, super-rich white kids, whining about their problems while going to clubs and screwing each other senseless. It's from Josh Schwartz, who created The O.C. If you miss watching that bunch of a-holes, then this show is for you.

Predictions: Pushing Daisies will confuse the hell out of people, and the subject matter is bound to make some folks uncomfortable. They're idiots, but they're the ones with the Neilsen boxes. It won't make it to Christmas. Private Practice will be a huge success. Bionic Woman might launch well, but I expect it to get booted to the Friday night death slot before too long.

Recommendations: Check out Pushing Daisies. Lee Pace, who plays the lead guy, used to be on Wonderfalls, and he's a charmer. DVR America's Next Top Model (CW, 8 pm), because those woman are insane. And take a peek at Bionic Woman to see how seriously it takes itself and so I can say I told you so.

Thursday

Big Shots (ABC, 10 pm) is the only new show airing on Thursday night. It's about four guys, including Dylan McDermott and Christopher Titus, who deal with life, work, and who play golf. The producers are comparing it to Sex in the City, except this is about men. Will they get naked? I'll watch it if they get naked.

Prediction: Big Shots will drown in the massive wave of pre-existing Thursday night hits.

Recommendations: Where to begin?!? ABC's Ugly Betty is colorful, fun, and unique. There's still nothing like it on any of the networks. Over on the CW, Smallville, an addictive, but brain-damaged show, will introduce Supergirl this season. Gotta check that out. Supernatural, the spookiest show on TV, gets its third season underway. Meanwhile, NBC owns the night with its comedy block of Earl, 30 Rock, The Office, and Scrubs. Finally, CBS's Survivor is back for another round. I recommend you get a second DVR box.

Friday

Woman's Murder Club (ABC, 9 pm) is based on a best-selling book series by William Patterson, and tells the tale of four lady friends: a lawyer, a coroner, a reporter and a cop, who solve crimes together. On the surface, this sounds like every mystery show, ever--but something about it has me intrigued. If the tone is right, and the producers can channel an old-school Aaron Spelling vibe (I'm talking Hart to Hart, not Charlie's Angels) this could be fun.

Moonlight (CBS, 9 pm) is about a vampire detective. I watched this show when it was Forever Knight. I watched this show when it was Angel. I'm done watching this show.

Predictions: Women's Murder Club is in a tight spot. It follows 20/20 and leads in to Men in Trees (yes, that Anne Heche vehicle survived another year). Murder might be the odd show out. ABC should have lead off with Trees and let that audience find Murder. As for CBS, I can't imagine Moonlight lasting very long. It's been done and nobody cares.

Recommendations: Watch Ghost Whisperer (CBS, 8 pm). It's not the namby-pamby Touched by an Angel series you might think it is. In fact, it's damn creepy sometimes (and I'm not just talking about Jennifer Love Hewitt's ginormous false eyelashes). Then you might want to check out NBC's Friday Night Lights. It's about football, so I've never watched it, but people do rave about it. And the guys are hot.

Since there's nothing new on Saturday, that's it for this fall preview. I hope you watch at least a few of the shows I recommended, but if not, please watch something--because if you don't...well...that's just freaky.

Click,
--Frank