DaveWear Interview
T-shirts of, by and for Daves.
by Dave McAwesomeDave and Dave started DaveWear.com to make t-shirts for Daves and, presumably, everyone who has a boring name like "John" and is jealous. No word yet if they'll be branching out into DavinaWear.
Dave: 1. You guys are weird. You know that, right?
Dave #1: I tend to think normal is weird, so are you saying we're normal? That's weird.
Dave #2: Like helmet weird? Weird people make the world go-round, you know that Dave...
Dave: 2. A lot of your shirts feature the word 'Dave' inserted into common sayings. Did you learn this technique from the Smurfs (Have a smurfy day), Strawberry Shortcake (I like you berry, berry much), or both?
Dave #1: Definitely influenced by both, but mostly it's because Dave we are.
Dave #2: No smurf influence in our slogans Dave, most of them are alcohol motivated.
Dave: 3. Finish this sentence: DaveWear will complete its takeover of the fashion industry by outselling Sean Jean and Rocawear in _______ years/months/seconds.
Dave #1: Um, how do you put 'yesterDave' in there?
Dave: 4. Softball question: How did DaveWear come about? (This is your origin story, dude, and it's got to be better than Wolverine's, cuz that sucked.)
Dave #1: Dave and I have actually both worked with Wolverine although we aren't responsible for his origin. We both work in the film industry, and we came to realize there's a lotta Daves there. Then we realized there's a lotta Daves everywhere. We had some 'have a nice Dave' shirts made up about 4 years ago, they were a hit, and ever since then we just kept writing down more stupid slogans until we decided to launch our clothing line. And through it all we've met a lot of Daves, and they're all pretty cool.
Dave #2: "Have a nice Dave" appeared somehow, not like a bright light or anything but it kinda came from nowhere...and the rest is history.
Dave: 5. You're both Weird Al Yankovic fans, aren't you? It's okay; we can tell.
Dave #1: I'd be lying if I said no...really he's just gotten better.
Dave #2: The old Al, yes.
Dave: 6. Remember the Michael Jordan "Be Like Mike" ad campaign? Would you agree that you need to do something like that?
Dave #1: What about the 'where's the beef?' ours kinda sums it all up with 'have a nice Dave'
Dave #2: Don't remember the ad, and Dave and I think Daves already know who they are. They just need shirts to say it.
Dave: 7. If Letterman and Beckham won't do it, I'm available. Have your people call my people. Also, have your people tell my people to bring me a sandwich. I'm hungry.
Dave #1: Do you have any peanut allergies? That's always gotta be the first question when providing food.
Dave #2: Letterman and Beckham will do it, but thanks Dave.
Dave: 8. Would you agree that number 7 was not a question but instead a series of statements?
Dave #1: Did you notice that I answered with a question, realized it, then responded with a statement?
Dave #2: Or is 7 L upside down? So does the number 7 mean Love, Life, Liberty, Lu Lu Lemon?
Dave: 9. True or false: You are working with the telecommunications industry so that every Dave in the world can be located via GPS maps on cell phones.
Dave #1: True and false.
Dave #2: False! Dude relax it's just silly slogans on a t-shirt.
Dave: 10. Truer or falser: Your company is, in fact, a front for the worldwide military organization Cobra Command. Destro is your arms (and t-shirt) supplier.
Dave #1: Falser. We get our arms from the same place everyone else does. You see, when a man loves a woman, they have a special cuddle, and then after a little while out pops a little being with arms. Usually.
Dave #2: Okay false, the true meaning of our shirts will be obvious to you when you are ready to understand.
Dave: 11. Which is your favorite shirt?
Dave #1: I was pretty fond of 'golden boy' on Seinfeld, but I assume you mean of our shirts. So hard to answer because I wear a different one almost every Dave. I like 'never put off until tomorrow what you can do toDave' and 'international women's Dave' and 'modern Dave cowboy' and 'what a difference a Dave makes' ....well, you get the idea.
Dave #2: Another Dave older and deeper in debt.
Dave: 12. When will you be hosting the three-day deathmatch amongst all Daves to determine who gets to keep the name?
Dave #1: As soon as all of those UFC guys have finished killing each other, there's gonna be a bunch of those octagon rings for sale cheap. We plan to pick those up at auction, set them all up in one small country (Liberia, perhaps) and fly in every Dave from around the planet. First, we'll have an introduction night on stage, followed by an awful lot of drinking. We'll make it mandatory that every Dave meets every other Dave, and then once all of that is complete, we'll start the matches.
Dave #2: Dave we are...Davewear...for Daves by Daves...those chosen to be Dave will always be Dave, in life or in death.
Dave: 13. Plug yer shit.
Dave #1: I had no idea I'd sprung a leak.
Dave #2: DaveWear.com: t-shirts for Daves by Daves, also for anyone who knows a Dave or would like to suck up to a Dave or was married to a Dave or remarried another Dave or wishes they were a Dave or was badly beaten by a Dave when they were in school or anyone who thinks our shirts are funny.
