Happy Super Awesome Day

It's probably better than Christmas

by Dave McAwesome

That's right, friends. A hearty Happy Super Awesome Day to you. The countdown has begun to December 26th, the happiest of all days, Super Awesome Day.

Why start another holiday in the busiest holiday month of the year? Hush, child. Have a seat and a cup of my super awesome hot cocoa. You see, my dearest, Super Awesome Day has no agendas. Nobody killed any natives for their land. Nobody got crucified. No animals were ritually sacrificed. A beer may have been chugged, but that's about it. It's your day. Do something awesome with it. Maybe even tell us about it.

I'm so amped about Super Awesome Day, I asked Galactus what he was going to do on December 26th.

There are several compelling reasons to believe Super Awesome Day, December 26th, will become a major world holiday within the next five years.

• An extra day of shopping. The most important part of any holiday, of course, is the moment of silent reflection just before we plunk down a sweaty wad of cash for shoddy, sweatshop merchandise. Situated slyly on the 26th, a day after Christmas, the global retailing industry will embrace this extra 24 hours of shopping madness.
• You ever have a crappy Hanukkah or Christmas and you're bummed cuz you gotta wait a whole year to make up for it? With Super Awesome Day strategically positioned on Dec. 26th, you don't have to wait. It's a whole 'nother day. Not only that, it's an awesome day. Never again must you despair if you find yourself uttering the sentence, "Man, this year's Ramadan was no where near last year's off the hook craziness." A. Whole. 'Nother. Day.
• As the founder of Super Awesome Day, I can personally guarantee the day itself will be so mind bogglingly stupid, you can't help but feel better about yourself. "I may be living in a refrigerator box, my ex found true love on "The Reality TV Stars versus C-level Hollywood Stars: Olympic Circus Extravaganza," and my dog left me to live in a cleaner refrigerator box, but at least I didn't invent Super Awesome Day," you'll mutter while someone steals your shoes. Where else can you get a guarantee like that?
• Most importantly: No f-ing carols.

See you on the 26th!