The Weiner Dog Report v. Heat Damage

If this were the New York Post, we would have a stupid and obvious headline like, "Heat Stroke!" Fortunately, it is not. Nevertheless, it would appear the mercury has boiled for one particular Arizonian blogger.

Dave: Heat Damage is a coward. That much is clear. He could've waited for the verdict and THEN pulled the plug from his blog either triumphantly or in defeat. Instead, he writes a weak little post about being tired of blogging and how he doesn't feel right about being cynical while American soldiers are fighting overseas. Although the Holy Order of Thunderdome refuses to take any public political stand (on the grounds that far too many political stands have been taken publicly and the world's supply of soapboxes has run dry) we will say this: "Dude, get OVER yourself." Gads. Yanking your blog is a sign of respect for the fighting men and women of the United States Armed Forces? You know what they'd probably prefer? Body armor, dammit. Body armor.

Ugh. As someone who once liked Heat Damage, I am simply disgusted. It sure as hell turned into one ugly train wreck. And darn quickly, too.

Let's just mop up this disgraceful episode of Blog Thunderdome. And go...

Brad: As I started to peruse through a few of the posts I began to notice a trend which culminated in the iBooks article and that is frequent use of the little "crossed out" function. In said post Ryan used it no less than 8 times in a vain attempt to be funny. The only explanation I had for such wanton use of all those lines was that he had just learned how to use said function and decided to try it out. Congratulations Ryan! I can't wait until you learn how to underline. In another article about the upcoming release of a mobile phone fashioned to look like a Star Trek communicator the authors' true colours come shining through. Although he denies knowing anything about Star Trek, the fact that he actually took time to get a Mac operating system running on his Toshiba tells a different story.

There wasn't much in the way of a profile about Ryan, the owner of the site, but I did notice that he dislikes oppressive heat, which is probably why he is living in Arizona. At least I have the comfort of knowing that there is a real intelligent guy behind this blog. Heat Damage is, of course, a blog which belongs to the Arizona Bloggers ring. My only explanation for the popularity of blogging in Arizona is that people there don't have much else in the way of fun indoor activities, such as sex.

Dave: We can only hope that Ryan did, in fact, discover sex and that this is the real reason for quitting his blog. No shame there, my friend.

Just cuz Ryan pulled a Ross Perot doesn't mean Weiner Dog gets off easy.

Brad: I didn't need to go any further than the name of this blog to realize that it would suck.

Dave: See? And that's just the name. We haven't even begun to discuss the content.

Brad: I imagine that the use of the word "weiner" is supposed to elicit some kind of elementary school innuendo, which was indeed proven true in the comments section at Blog Thunderdome. The whole "weiner licking" fiasco started by the owner of this blog in said comments section is actual proof that the blogosphere is rife with immature retards with way too much time on their hands. Although there is little in the way of a profile for the author of The Weiner Dog the above mentioned fiasco speaks volumes about the mindset of the person behind this waste of bandwidth.

Before I even had a chance to begin reading a single "post" (and I use the word "post" generously) my eyes were assaulted by a "Paypal Donate" button. I cannot even begin to imagine how Dick (yeah I know, he is known as Oliver or "Weiner" but I thought I would stick with the elementary school innuendo) could think that anyone would contribute to such a blog when they could obviously piss away their money on something much more worthwhile, you know, like an herbal enema.

Dave: What offends me about this blog is the continual regurgitation of entertainment cud that I can just as easily find, well, everywhere. It's just as bad as the political bloggers who go through the following thought process, "hey, you know what's popular? Politics. That's what. I bet people would like to hear MY take on the whole situation." You people are killing me. Seriously. I'm out there, frequenting bars, tossing back beer after beer, but all us bar-goers have nothing to talk about anymore. You know why? Because we're so numbed by all of the internet's entertainment, political and current event minutiae (once staples of bar conversation) that we need alcohol just to feel ANYthing. Instead of slowing the intake of each pint by a little chit chat, we stare blankly at the bartop, slugging down hops and barley. Cripes, I even chased my last beer with Irish whiskey. Rough times indeed.

Brad: When I finally did get around to reading the "content" (again, I use the word "content" generously) I was overwhelmed by the sheer stupidity of it all. From what I read the whole purpose of Weinerdog is to write about the stupid things celebrities do and then proceed to call said celebrity is a Weinerdog. Half the crap written there is just cut and paste from other sites which begs the questions: Do we really need an amateur site dedicated to celebrity gossip? Do we really need someone who has not yet mastered the skill of posting links writing about reality shows starring the children of B-rated celebs? Is it necessary to regurgitate articles about Bo Bice having intestinal surgery and post pictures of Carrot Top? Most importantly, do we really need someone to post the recipe of an authentic Caesar Salad??? The obvious answer to all of these questions is a resounding NO!!!

Dave: Brad, while I agree, I need to clarify one thing, since it's so often misused: "Begging the question" is a logical error caused when you assume the very claim you are attempting to prove. It is not synonymous with "asking the question." Sorry. Didn't mean to make an example out of you.

Verdict
Weiner Dog wins by default. HOT deems it fitting that the only way a blog like Weiner's should score a victory in the Thunderdome is by default. Way to go, Dick. We hope you will enter again in the future...and, say...oh...I dunno...compete against a non-quitter.

But a win is a win is a win. None of us can begrudge that. To Weiner go all the spoils and adulation of BT success. Congrats (grumble, grumble).

The bottom line here, folks, is that there is one less blog on the planet, and we should all be grateful for that.

So go ahead, post whatever winner's graphics you'd like. You've even (shudder) met the requirements to post a WBO Approved button. Damn you, Ryan. Damn you to hell.

The Holy Order of Thunderdome has spoken (even though it wasn't really necessary since that Heat dude quit).