Youthful Yearning

by Frank Pittarese

Dear Frank,
I am a 41-year-old gay male who didn't have his first gay experience till age 31. I didn't have my first relationship till I was 35 and that was with a guy who was 22 at the time. My other relationship several years later was with a 29-year-old guy.

I have always found myself attracted to guys younger than myself. I think it might be because I got a late start with guys that I'm drawn to younger ones. You know, guys who are the age that perhaps I should have been when having my first gay experiences.

What do you think? Is there really any explanation for attraction between differing age groups? Please let me know.
--Youthful in Yonkers

Quite Frankly: I don't know if there's an explanation for your attraction to younger guys. Is there one for my lusting after skinny blonds with facial hair or my buddy's yearning for stocky frat boys? We likes what we likes, ya know?

At any rate, I don't think you're reliving your unlived past by chasing after these young guys. Assuming were talking about physical attraction, that's all it is. Younger bodies and fresher faces turn you on. But there is obviously a pattern here, and rather than wonder why it exists, I think its more important to ask yourself if you're happy with it. Do you have trouble meeting younger guys? Are your dating experiences fulfilling, or does the age difference drag things down? Do the differences in maturity levels and/or pop culture references frustrate or enhance your dating experiences?

I think as long as you stay aware of the possible pitfalls, and keep in mind that as the older guy, you'll always been seen as the "mature, responsible one," you'll be fine.