Sex Parties

by Frank Pittarese

Dear Frank,
What's up with all these almost-trendy sex parties? I want in. Problem is, they don't let in any single, unattached guys. Seems clique-ish to me. Where's my ticket to the flesh buffet?
--Hand Solo

Quite Frankly:
This is another fine example of the difference between straight guys and us homos. See, when we want to go to a sex party, we pay our twenty bucks, get naked, and go for it. Unfortunately, you straight arrows have to deal with wimmin folk. And right there's your problem.

How do you get into a sex party that includes women, if you have to be accompanied by one--but the only place you're going to find a sex-crazed lady is at said sex party, which you cannot attend? Should you wait outside and accost them when they leave? Should you sneak in wearing a dress and hope the doorman doesn't notice your five o'clock shadow? Should I answer questions instead of asking them?

This question almost stumped me. Then I started trolling around the internet for help. Guess what? I gave myself the answer--and now I'll give it to you. Use the internet.

Out in the real world, it's fairly difficult for most people to meet, let alone date steadily, let alone express to the person they're dating that they want to get involved with group sex in a room full of strangers. But in the cyber world, all bets are off.

You can go into chat rooms, post messages on Craig's List, or create profiles on any number of wonderfully deviant sites. Be ready to supply the lady with a face photo (and possibly something more graphic). Be a gentleman. But be honest about what you're looking for. Granted, it'll take some time, and if you're too picky, you probably won't get far, but chances there are some reasonably attractive women out there who would love to check out a sex club just out of curiousity, if not flat out decadance. And if there's no pretense about romance or dating (although those things are fine), you can just go and have fun.

If that doesn't work . . . like I said, twenty bucks, naked, go for it. And nobody will know you're straight unless you tell him.