Babysitter Blues

by Frank Pittarese

Dear Frank,
I'm a 37-year-old happily "married" man, and for the past three years, my partner and I have used a neighborhood boy to babysit our young daughter whenever we have evening plans (the baby is my partner's from his previous "straight" marriage). This boy is now 19, and when I walked him home the other night, he came onto me. I didn't know what to do. He's a very attractive young man, and I'd be lying if I said I hadn't fantasized about him before. But now, to be faced with the actual prospect...I don't know what to do. Like I said, I love my husband, and I'm not actively on the make, but still, the idea of a liaison with a hot--yet legal--teenager is literally keeping me up at night. What do I do?
--Batty for the Boy

Quite Frankly: Wow, he must really be hot if he's keeping you awake. Is he that baby-faced Justin Timberlake kind of hot? Or maybe that dark-haired Jason Behr kind of hot?

Screw your head on, ya pervert! That little piece of boymeat may be fueling some middle-aged fantasies--and that's great--but do you really think he's worth sacrificing your relationship over? Or your family? Because I'll tell ya this much: when your husband finds out--and he will--you probably won't have much left of that happy home you're living in. (And I'd hate to be in your shoes when Babysitter Boy's daddy finds out.) So what's the solution? Well, as much as it'll pain you, I think you need to find yourself a new babysitter--an ugly one. Or a girl. Or an ugly girl. Meanwhile, grab yourself some lube, fantasize him out of your system--ALONE--and get some sleep. You've got mouths to feed, Papa!

P.S.: Stop walking him home. Jeez!