Adultery Alert

by Frank Pittarese

Dear Frank,
Last year, I met a married couple at a party. They're cool people. We're all the same age, and have lots of stuff in common. Since then, we've stayed in touch. I've gone to their house for dinner, we've been to the movies a few times . . . that sort of thing. Unfortunately, I've come to realize that the wife is incredibly hot, and the real reason I'm hanging around is that somewhere in the dark recesses of my mind, I'm hoping we can hook up. Sometimes I get a vibe off her that makes me think this is possible, but then again, maybe I'm projecting. What do I do?
--Adultery Alert

Quite Frankly:
First up, Professor Xavier, calm your "vibe" down. There's no way you can be sure that what you think she's thinking is real. Sometimes friendly is just friendly and not "I wanna shag you." Then again, maybe she does.

You have several options open to you, most of which will only lead to drama and/or tragedy. You can pursue this course of action, manipulate circumstances till you're alone with Mrs. Wife and see what happens. Maybe she'll go for it. Then it's just a matter of time till Mr. Husband finds out. Maybe she won't go for it. Then it's also a matter of time before Mr. Husband finds out. Either way, they could end up divorced, or you could end up assaulted, shot, or even dead. Good times.

But if you're that horny for her, and if you're really only friends with them because you like her boobs (or whatever), give it a shot. After all, the high of a good lay is totally worth ruining a few lives, ain't it?

Screw your head on, AA! What's wrong with you?

Lose their number and behave yourself.